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This past Sunday morning I was in church and we were singing when a question came to mind:
Am I really worshiping?
If I'm being honest with myself I would have to say I'm not sure. My mind wasn't completely focused on God and I was distracted. After that question came to mind I tried to really worship. They sang the song Fullness by Elevation Worship and part of the bridge goes like this...
"One desire
Spirit come, Spirit come"
I was wondering in my heart: was that my top desire? While singing that song I prayed the lyrics to God. I prayed that He would be my number one desire. As I got to thinking I confronted the thing that I've been feeling recently: I've just been getting by one day to the next. I look forward to one thing coming up and I don't make the most of the moment I've living in now. I've been distracted and unfocused. I haven't been truly seeking God with all my heart. I haven't been putting Him first.
And when all of that comes to mind comes more questions....
Why do I read my Bible everyday? Out of obligation or out of love and desire? Why do I pray? Am I just naming requests or pouring out my heart to Him? Why do I serve in the church? Do I do it because I feel that's what's expected of me, or because I long to serve Jesus?
It's so easy to try to just scan over those questions, but I challenge you, as I'm challenging myself, to really search your heart and think about those questions. I'll be the first to admit that my heart hasn't been in the right place recently. It's so much easier to go through the motions then to truly seek and love God. I've realized that I've lost my awe of Jesus. You may ask, how do you lose your awe and wonder of God, King of the universe? The answer is when you take your eyes off of Him.
Back to this past Sunday. I was praying in between songs when the next song came up. It's one of my current favorite songs and the timing couldn't have been more perfect.
Behold Our God by Sovereign Grace.
I'm putting the video below and I highly encourage you to listen to this powerful and beautiful song.
One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 63:1-8 and to me it just reflects a beautiful relationship with God. When you truly seek Him who satisfies.
Here are the first two verses, "God, You are my God; I eagerly seek You. I thirst for You; my body faints for You in a land that is dry, desolate, and without water. So I gaze on You in the sanctuary to see Your strength and Your glory."
Another great Psalm is Psalm 139.
Here are the first ten verses (I really wanted to include the whole passage but that's a lot so I recommend looking it up and reading it).
"Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away. You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, Lord. You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me. This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it. Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there. If I live at the eastern horizon or settle at the western limits, even there Your hand will lead me; Your right hand will hold on to me."
Now I have to be honest with you, nothing magical happened. I didn't pray to God and the heavens opened. An angel didn't appear. I didn't just "feel better". Instead I just felt a little taste of peace. It's like after I wandered away from God I'm finally back in His arms.
While God may have felt distant lately, it was never Him who left, never Him who kept His distance. It was me. I've been so focused and distracted by things that don't matter I lost sight of the One who truly does.
I feel an emptiness inside that can't be filled by the things of the world. I can only be satisfied by Jesus. The process of learning to seek God is not a easy one. Trust me, I've tried and keep failing. But with God's help He will teach me how, step by step.
I pray right now while writing this post, that you will seek God and find Him. I'm praying for myself and you. I'm praying that we will truly seek Him, and continue to seek Him always.
Psalm 9:10, "Those who know Your name trust in You because You have not abandoned those who seek You, Yahweh."
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What about you? What have you been going through recently? Is there some way I can be praying for you?
Thank you for this reminder, I needed to hear this.
ReplyDelete-Brooklyne
I think it’s something we all need to be reminded of sometimes :).
DeleteThanks for commenting, Brooklyne!
I've been struggling with this lately, thank you for this post. <3
ReplyDeleteI’ve been struggling with it for awhile till I finally admitted. I’m glad this post was good timing for you!
DeleteThanks for commenting, Gray! :)
Wow I can relate... lately I've been just going through the motions and not living in the moment like you said. Thanks for the reminder <3
ReplyDeleteI think all of us can relate sometimes ... it’s so easy to just go through the motions - and sometimes not even realize it!
DeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts, Cori! :)
Thank you for sharing this, Sarah! This topic has actually been on my mind lately, and I was encouraged to read this. xx
ReplyDeleteI feel like seeking God is either talked about a lot, but not really taken to heart, or not talked about at all. It’s hard to seek God yet there is such a beauty in it when you do so.
DeleteThank you for your sweet comment, Emily!
A few days later, how are you doing, Sarah?
ReplyDeleteThis post was so relevant to me. It's something I need to revisit often because it's a spiritual apathy or "auto-pilot" is something I fall into often. I get the feeling this is a common thing for young people who grew up in Christian homes and we would do well to slow down every time we read a blog or article about this.
Well, tired =) (but that’s because I’m replying to this at night). Um, well, same as usual I guess. I struggle to seek God in the day to day simply because sometimes I get so caught up in what I’m doing, instead of doing it with Him. But I’m trying little by little to seek God.
DeleteThis post has seemed to be relevant to everyone - I guess the Lord knew what He was doing when He nudged me to write this post ;). I agree, we can get so caught up in what we’re doing in life (sometimes even serving in the church) that we forget who we should be doing with.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Jordy!
You respond so quickly, Sarah! I hope you wake up feeling refreshed and spend real quality time with the Lord. I hope you seek Him for Him and get Him... but even though it isn't the end goal, His gifts are good and He tends to provide things like grace and strength for the day.
DeleteI try to respond quickly... and since I can reply to comments on my phone it makes it easier ;).
DeleteThank you, Jordy! I woke up feeling refreshed and had a chance to spend time in His Word. I read Psalm 77 which is so packed with amazing scriptures (though isn’t the whole Bible?)... first it said that God hears us, then it talks about how amazing God is... and it’s so cool to think about how God is so amazing and powerful and still listens to us! I think maybe we learn more and more each day, adding things to the full picture of who God is, even though we can’t even begin to grasp the whole picture! Yes, His gifts are good, He provides what we need each day.
I agree, Sarah! Thank you for your words and truth. Sometimes I feel like God isn't there, but He really is. Just my focus is not on Him. Thank you, I always enjoy your posts and honesty!! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! It’s only through Him I can write the words... on my own I’m clueless.
DeleteIt’s easy to get so overwhelmed by this world that we forget God is with us... even though He always is. Psalm 66:12 says, “We went through fire and water but You brought us out in abundance.” Even when we go through hard times God is still right there with us. He will see us through.
Thank you for your sweet words, Mallory! :)